Columbia, Missouri Hollaback!

Decency and respect should be a no brainer…and yet…

admin — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:51:34 +0000

Hello, my name is Dawn. But in my neighborhood I’m referred to as “white girl”, “momma”, or “babe” or “honey” or especially, “sweetie”. And if I don’t like it, I’m referred to as “bitch!” very loudly, almost daily, and now I’ve got a nervous twitch. I feel privileged for the respect of anonymity in the grocery isle, or a polite nod of hello instead of a full front and back scope out.
I have lived in so many places, all over the world and I’m very eclectic spiritually. I consider myself a feminist generally, no more than any normal woman…or so I thought.
In Westport Kansas City, a woman who wants respect and equality is a snob, privileged and, of course, at risk for an assault. First, it will be verbal, and then, little girl, it’ll get physical.
Cat calls are annoying. but nothing is scarier than scratching or tapping on walls or doors, or a burglary done for revenge.
Even the most liberal and outgoing person who believes in equality will be challenged in this area for an average and decent amount of human respect, much less the extravagance of indulging a sensibility, like peace, quiet and the right to privacy in the home.
Beware all ye who enter here. If you are not a part of the ultra-rich conservative, you voice will not be heard. Poor or lower-class citizens of Westport are considered a burden, a charity case. I suppose some are. But there are others with small income who just want to have common decency laws about respect to be carried out by law enforcement.
There should be no question…and yet, there always is.

SHE-HULK

como — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 03:04:38 +0000

An inspiring story comes to us from Boston. A woman was on public transportation going home from work when a man came on and started looming over her. At first she reverted to her usual reaction, and looked down trying to ignore the obvious infraction. When the man pulled out his penis and started masturbating in front of her face, however, it was obvious that her ignoring him was exactly the opposite of appropriate. She frantically looked around for help, and although the other passengers saw what was happening, only one passenger even acknowledged her, just long enough to shrug at her. This was the “last straw” for the woman, who stood up and berated the man loudly and forcefully. When he started backing off and apologizing repeatedly, she didn’t care, and continued. When he tried to run away from the scene, she physically restrained him with one hand and called the cops with the other. She held the perpetrator there until cops arrived. Although the man wasn’t held in custody for long, I can imagine it was IMMENSELY satisfying for her to take control over the situation, and the disgusting masturbating bully. Go her.
I just wish the people on the train had helped her. It all comes back to bystander intervention. If someone had helped her call him out, or voiced their opinion to him that it was wrong, the situation could have gone a lot more smoothly and calmly. Unfortunately, strangers tend to want to avoid conflict that doesn’t directly involve them.
I challenge us all to get involved. If you think you might be uncomfortable standing up for something so obviously wrong as a stranger masturbating in front of a woman’s face on public transportation, just imagine how she feels, experiencing something so fucked up, and doing so alone, though she’s in a room full of other human beings.
Show your support, you’d want someone to do the same for you.

Hollaback!!!

Ashley Judd on objectification.

como — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 22:34:04 +0000

This article is poignant to the fight against street harassment, though it might not appear so at first glance. If we trace harassment back to the original motivation we inevitably stumble across the incessant objectification of women’s bodies (in addition to fear, hate, and control). The utter onslaught of rules, diets, surgery, celebrities, weight, eating disorders, magazines, television ads about douching and razors, advertisements, and the scrutinization and subsequent offscouring of anyone who tries to adhere (or not) to these invisible standards is nothing short of…overwhelming. It leads to misconceptions, that women invite scrutiny, that we act like we don’t like it but relish it. That you aren’t a woman unless you shave this and wear that and smell like those. That you aren’t a man unless you are macho and foreboding in your approach towards women.

Ashley Judd is sick. She is ill. Part of her treatment plan is to take steroids, one of the side effects of which is “moon face” or excess fluid in the tissues of your face. The bombardment by television and internet media towards her “puffy” face was rude and presumptuous, ranging from outrageous rumors about new procedures, to a slap on the wrist for being scared of aging (like Jezebel said: “Ha-ha, women, we tricked you! The only thing worse than looking old is trying not to look old because we told you not to look old!”).
This outpouring of personal critiques on her body is indicative of how media and society as a whole view women of all social classes, not just celebrities: we are objectifiable.

This story speaks to me personally because I was/am on steroids after a major surgery last year. I struggle with feeling a bit lack when it comes to keeping up with what I’m supposed to look like (smell like, act like, etc…) these days. I think that no matter how aware I am of objectification, that will be a lifelong struggle. I am also not exactly innocent when it comes to objectifying (myself or others), I can gossip and scrutinize with the best of them.
When I really think about motivations and the full scale of the impact that that constant judgement has on not only my own psyche, but on the fight against patriarchy and in turn street harassment, I kind of feel like an ass.

Here’s to being more tolerant, less judgmental, and more aware of how our actions affect others.

Here is the Original Letter from Ashley, and the Jezebel critique.

~Luci Cook

A picture worth a thousand words.

como — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 18:27:49 +0000

Bystander involvement is a good way for this guy to help lessen that fear that women have of them on the street. Standing up to strangers (and your friends, too) when they make rape jokes, participate in street harassment, and otherwise don’t act like human beings, makes all the difference in the world.
Stand up against street harassment! Hollaback!

Happy International Anti-Street Harassment Week!!!

como — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 04:44:18 +0000

And to celebrate, here is my favorite take on the “shit girls say” meme. Enjoy, and remember that standing up to street harassment, no matter who you are or who it happens to, is half the battle.

Shit men say to men who say shit to women on the street.

Comments and pet peeves.

como — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:03:29 +0000

So, I was in a bar tonight, and I wasn’t even at the actual “bar” but in the back playing pool with a friend. I went up to the bar to get a refill on my water, and while I was waiting for the waitress I noticed the man next to me turn his head a couple of times to look at me.
I just knew what was coming. I was hoping the waitress would hurry filling up my water.
He turned to me, not even completely making eye contact, and said one of my worst pet peeves:

“Would it kill you to smile?”

Ahhhhhhh!!!! I cannot explain to you how much this gets under my skin! It’s so presumptuous! And it’s one of the kinds of harassment that is not about sex at all. It’s purely about control and dominance. It’s so subtly intrusive it makes me sick. Women aren’t allowed to be in his presence if they are unhappy, or just not exuberant? Who smiles all the time, anyway?! What makes me even more annoyed is the fact that I just looked him in the eye, and when I thought of all the gloriously satisfying comebacks I could say (“would it kill you to shower?”) , instead of saying any of them, I just…smiled.

“There you go sweetheart, was that so hard?”

Now I’ve given this man a gift, I’ve given him pleasure and he believes it’s because he requested it. I feel sick to my stomach, tricked, and invaded.
I’ve had totally random men in line at the bank say “why don’t you smile, it can’t be that bad!” and even some men who’ve refused service to me until I smile, I say “I’ll have a ______” and he responds with “sure, if you can just give me a smile”. GAH!

This is my pet peeve, what’s yours in relation to feeling violated by unwanted contact in public spaces?

Post by Luci Cook

Shrodinger’s Rapist…or how to approach women without being maced.

como — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:46:20 +0000

An older post I found, detailing some of the reasons why it’s unsettling to be approached in public by a stranger.

“…we would rather not be killed or otherwise violently assaulted…do you think about it all the time? Is preventing violent assault or murder part of your daily routine, rather than merely something you do when you venture into war zones? Because, for women, it is.”

This quote can be applied to women and to LGBTQ folks, so listen up.

http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/

Changes and Innovations

como — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:05:51 +0000

Hey everyone! We have been a bit sub-par lately with our posts and community involvement lately, we know. There have been some awesome things happening on a personal level that we all needed to take time to deal with, but the time is here to re-involve ourselves in the Hollaback! Movement. We apologize for not keeping you all in the loop, but assure you we haven’t gone anywhere and that we’re just as dedicated to ending street harassment as we were 6 months ago. Please continue to send your stories and check back here frequently for news about upcoming events … Continue reading →

Encouraged Harassment? Solidarity, anyone? Gross.

admin — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 01:49:06 +0000

I was walking back to my apartment downtown after a grocery run when I passed a parked car. I was tired from the walk, carrying my heavy bags of groceries and just wanted to get home. But as I walked past the car, I heard a guy’s voice saying, “You’re hot.” He said something before that but I wasn’t paying attention and missed it. Before I could even turn around to see where the catcall was coming from, a girl in the driver’s seat shouted, “Hey! My brother’s talking to you!” as if that made me obligated to respond in some way.

I wish I could’ve thought of something to say back, but I was really taken off-guard and just wanted to get home. It made me really upset for a few reasons. First, I find catcalling to be degrading, misogynistic and generally a tool men use to assert dominance and make females feel small. But I was especially upset because the girl in the driver’s seat, his sister, was an accomplice in the harassment of a fellow woman. I don’t know if this girl has to deal with street harassment on a daily basis the way I do, but it pained me that she would encourage his behavior instead of scolding him for his disrespect toward me and women in general. In addition, I take offense to the idea that just because a man is talking to me that I am somehow obliged to listen. Give me a break. Was I supposed to just stand there with my armful of groceries in the middle of the night and take his BS because it’s my place to do so as a woman?

In the end, I just kept walking and tuned the two out. I wish I could have thought of something to hollaback.

Also, this was just a few minutes after a guy in a big truck honked his horn at me and stuck his head out of the window of his car to smile at me suggestively. Twice in one night, and to have a girl encourage her own brother? Gross.

That was no joke! And it was NOT okay.

admin — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:53:51 +0000

My friend and I went to the U2 concert at Bush Stadium. At the concert there was an inner ring that was pretty crowded and sort of like a mosh pit. My friend and I, being the stupid 16 year old’s we were, decided that we just wanted to walk through from one end to the other to see if it was worth standing in there. It was really crowded and we quickly decided that once we found our way out of the ring we would not come back. But as we were walking through we pushed past three boys that were probably about 17. My friend was walking first so she didn’t see it but the all three of the boys stared at us in a really creepy way that made me feel uneasy. Then as I was getting past the last boy he grabbed his crotch and gave me this look as a stared at him in repulsion.
Needless to say I pushed my friend a little faster and said KEEP GOING when she tried to stop right after we passed them. The three boys heard me say this and started laughing like it was all some big joke. I felt like crying. What gives them the right to make me feel uncomfortable just because I’m a girl? I wish someone would have seen and done something. I wish I would have done something. Because that was no joke and it was not okay.